Thank You Notes and Portfolio Updates for Grandparents and Family

When a grandparent gives to your child’s college fund, the gift disappears from view almost immediately. It lands in a 529 plan or custodial account they can’t see, where it may sit for 15 years or more. A thank-you note tells them it arrived and where it went. A short yearly update shows them what it has become. Together, they turn a one-time gift into an ongoing connection to your child’s future.

This guide covers both halves: how to write a thank-you note for a money gift, how to bring your child in at every age, and how to send a yearly portfolio update that’s honest, private, and quick to put together, with templates for each. It’s part of Building Your Village: How to Crowdfund Your Child’s Nest Egg, our guide to pooling gifts from the people who love your child.

Why thank-yous and updates matter

Most people know they should send thank-you notes. Fewer realize how much the notes are worth. In experiments published in 2018, psychologists Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley asked people to write letters of gratitude, then checked in with the people who received them. The writers underestimated how surprised and positive recipients would feel, and overestimated how awkward recipients would feel, the University of Chicago reported. Kumar suggested that worrying about how well they’d express themselves may keep people from expressing gratitude more often. The lesson for busy parents: a short, sincere note sent this week beats a perfect one that never gets written.

Gifts that arrive online make acknowledgment even more important. The Emily Post Institute’s view is that all gifts should be acknowledged, and gifts sent in the mail or opened after the giver has left are best acknowledged with a thank-you note or a follow-up by text, phone, video message, or email, Lizzie Post wrote in her Money Manners column for AARP. A gift through a savings page works the same way, because the giver isn’t there when it arrives. That column answered a grandparent whose two grandchildren hadn’t thanked her for birthday gifts three years in a row, and Post’s suggested script makes a simple point: at the very least, an acknowledgment lets the giver know the gift arrived.

What givers want to know

Fundraisers have studied this question for decades. Penelope Burk of Cygnus Applied Research found that large majorities of donors said they would keep giving, and even give more over time, if they received a prompt acknowledgment, confirmation that the gift was used as intended, and measurable results, all before being asked for more, The Chronicle of Philanthropy reported. In Burk’s research, 93% said they would definitely or probably give again to a charity that thanked them promptly and personally and later followed up with a meaningful report on what their gift funded, according to Nonprofit Quarterly.

Grandparents aren’t donors, and your child isn’t a charity. But the instinct is the same. People who give want to know three things: that the gift arrived, where it went, and what it’s doing. That’s the whole job of a thank-you note and a yearly update.

The four touchpoints

1. Within a day or two: a quick acknowledgment. A text or call that says the gift arrived and what it’s for.
2. Within a week or two: the thank-you note. Thank them for the gift and say where the money went.
3. Once a year: the update. A photo, a line from your child, and, for givers who want them, the numbers.
4. When the money is used: the final report. What their gifts helped make possible, years later.

How to write a thank-you note for a money gift

The Emily Post Institute describes a thank-you note as a brief note of about four sentences. It recommends writing as soon as possible, and it reassures anyone running behind that a late note always beats no note. For a gift to your child’s savings, the four sentences almost write themselves:

1. Thank them for the specific gift. “Thank you for your gift to Maya’s college fund.”
2. Say where it went and what it means. “We added it to her 529 plan this week, and it means so much that you’re thinking about her future.”
3. Look ahead. “It has years to grow before she needs it, and we’ll send you an update next spring.”
4. Close warmly. “Thank you again for being such a big part of her life.”

Name the purpose, not the amount

You don’t need to mention the dollar amount. The giver knows what they gave. What they don’t know is what happened next, so tell them: which account it went into, what it’s for, or what it will help pay for. A note that names the purpose (“your gift went straight into her college fund”) feels personal in a way that “thank you for your generous gift” never does. Save the numbers for the yearly update.

Handwritten or digital?

The Emily Post Institute calls handwritten notes warmer and more personal than a phone call or email, and second only to thanking someone in person. It considers email fine for casual thanks, like a coffee or a very small favor, but for an actual gift, a handwritten note is the best bet. A practical approach for gifts that arrive online: send a quick text or make a call the day the gift comes in, then follow with a handwritten note. Teens get a little more flexibility, as the next section explains.

Your birthday gift for [Name] just came through. Thank you! It’s going into [her] college fund this week, and a real thank-you note is on its way.

Dear Aunt [name], thank you for your gift to [Name]’s future. We deposited it in [her] 529 plan this week, where it will have nearly 18 years to grow. Someday [she]’ll know you were one of the very first people to invest in [her]. With love, [your names] and a very sleepy [Name]

Thank-you notes at every age

Thank-you notes are one of the earliest ways to teach gratitude, and they can teach more than manners. Andrea Hussong, a psychologist at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill who leads the Raising Grateful Children project, describes gratitude as built from what children notice, how they think and feel about it, and what they do in response, as she explained on the Harvard EdCast. A note about a savings gift can touch all four: notice the gift, think about why someone gave it, feel what it means to have people in your corner, and do something about it by writing back. Hussong adds that gratitude helps children find the people around them who care about them, which is exactly what a savings gift represents.

The Emily Post Institute’s tips for children and teens hand over more of the work each year, and they include a point worth sharing with any reluctant writer: notes make people feel good, and they let givers know their gift arrived safely. Here’s how the institute’s advice divides the work by age:

The institute suggests having children sign every note, however much of it they wrote. It also recommends passing along a little positive feedback when a note lands well, such as telling your child that an uncle loved it, so they see why the notes matter.

Dear Grandpa, thank you for my birthday money. Mom put it in my college fund. She says it is invested, so it can grow while I grow. I love you! [Name]

Dear Aunt [name], thank you for the birthday gift. I added it to my college fund, and this year I looked at the account with Mom and Dad for the first time. It was pretty amazing to see what the gifts you’ve sent since I was little have grown into. Thank you for thinking that far ahead for me. Love, [Name]

The yearly portfolio update

A thank-you note closes the loop on one gift. A yearly update keeps the whole relationship going. It’s the measurable-results piece of Burk’s research, adapted for a family: a short, warm report on what the family’s gifts have become.

When to send it

Pick one moment and stick with it, so givers come to expect it. Your child’s birthday works well, because many gifts arrive then. So does the new year, when year-end statements make the numbers easy to find, or a holiday gathering where your child can share the news in person. Send the update on its own, not alongside a request.

What to include

• A recent photo of your child, ideally doing something the gifts are for, like reading or starting school.
• A line from your child, in their own words or handwriting, once they’re old enough.
• Where the family’s gifts went this year, such as the 529 plan, a custodial account, or something your child needed right away.
• The numbers, for givers who want them: what they’ve given so far and roughly what those gifts are worth today.
• What’s ahead, like the first day of kindergarten or a college visit.
• Thanks, one more time.

Keep it to one page or one screen. A relative should be able to read it in two minutes and smile.

How much to share

Not every giver wants the same level of detail, and you may not want to share your child’s whole balance with everyone. Choose a level for each person:

If you’re not sure which level someone wants, ask once. Most relatives will happily tell you, and asking saves guessing every year.

We’d love to send you a short update on [Name]’s savings each year. Would you like to see the numbers on your gifts, or just the photos and news? Either one is perfect.

Dear Grandma and Grandpa,

[Name] turned [age] this month, and we wanted to show you what your gifts have been up to. Since [her] first birthday, you’ve given [total] to [her] college fund. Invested alongside the rest of [her] savings, those gifts are worth about [value] today.

[Name] wanted to tell you this in [her] own words: “[a line from your child].”

Thank you for believing in [her] future. We’ll send another update next year.

Love, [your names]

Estimating what each person’s gifts are worth

Your statement shows one balance, not a breakdown by giver. To tell your mother what her gifts are worth, you’ll need a simple estimate. Once a year:

1. Start with the value you reported last year, or zero the first year.
2. Add the gifts this person gave during the year.
3. Multiply by one plus the account’s return for the year. A 10% gain means multiplying by 1.10, and a 5% loss means multiplying by 0.95. Your provider’s website or year-end statement usually shows the return.

Here’s an example. Say your mother’s gifts were worth $479 at the end of 2021. In 2022 she gave another $100, and the S&P 500, including dividends, lost 18.04%. Her estimate: $479 plus $100 is $579, and $579 times 0.8196 is about $475. Even with a new gift, her total ended the year a little lower.

The chart shows what seven yearly updates would have looked like for a grandmother who gave $100 on each birthday from 2019 through 2025, invested in a fund tracking the S&P 500, using the index’s actual returns.

• Gifts so far
• Growth

Hypothetical example using the S&P 500’s actual calendar-year returns, including dividends, from Aswath Damodaran’s data. Each $100 gift is invested at the start of the year, and each update shows the value at year-end, with no fees or taxes. Past returns don’t predict future returns.

See the numbers

What each yearly update would have shown

Update	Given so far	S&P 500 that year	Value
2019	$100	31.21%	$131
2020	$200	18.02%	$273
2021	$300	28.47%	$479
2022	$400	−18.04%	$475
2023	$500	26.06%	$724
2024	$600	24.88%	$1,029
2025	$700	17.78%	$1,330

The estimate assumes every dollar in the account earned the same return, and it ignores fees, taxes, and the timing of gifts within the year. That’s close enough for a family update, as long as you round to the nearest dollar and call it an estimate.

Your account’s return may differ from the market’s, especially as your child nears college. Many 529 plans gradually shift toward bonds and cash as the enrollment date approaches, so expect calmer updates in the high school years, with smaller gains and smaller losses. Building a Target-Date Glide Path explains how that shift works, and How Does Compound Interest Actually Work for Minors? explains why the earliest gifts tend to grow the most.

How to report a down year

Sooner or later, an update will show less than the year before. Down years are a normal part of investing. From 1928 through 2025, the S&P 500, including dividends, lost money in 26 of 98 calendar years, about one year in four, according to data compiled by NYU Stern professor Aswath Damodaran. In the 18 years from 2008 through 2025, it fell in three: 2008, 2018, and 2022. In fact, every 18-year stretch in that data includes at least one down year, so expect a few over your child’s childhood.

When it happens, say so plainly. Hiding a bad year makes the good years harder to believe. Explain what happened in a sentence, remind them how long the money has to grow, and put the number in context. The 2022 update in our example showed $475, down from $479, and the next one showed $724. You can’t promise a recovery, but you can show the long view.

Dear Uncle [name],

Here’s [Name]’s yearly update. It was a down year for the stock market, and your gifts, [total] so far, are worth about [value] today, down from [last year’s value]. We haven’t sold anything, and with [number] years until college, we’re staying the course. Down years are part of investing, and we’ll keep you posted next year.

[Name] says hi and wants you to know [a line from your child].

Thank you for being in this with us.

The Psychology of Generational Wealth covers how to think about market swings when the goal is years away.

Let your child take over the update

The yearly update is also one of the best money lessons you can give your child, because it’s about their money and the people behind it. Hand over a little more of it each year:

• Ages 3 to 5: A drawing or a dictated sentence for the update, and a photo of your child holding it.
• Ages 6 to 10: A line in their own handwriting. Read the numbers together, and point out how much of the total came from growth rather than gifts.
• Ages 11 to 14: An invitation to your yearly portfolio review, where they work out each giver’s estimate with you. Middle School (Ages 11-14) shows how to run that review.
• Ages 15 to 18: The whole update. Your teen writes it, adds the numbers, and sends it, or presents it at a family gathering. High School (Ages 15-18) covers the other money skills of these years.

By the time your child is managing money on their own, they’ll know who invested in them and why, which makes the conversation in The “Wealth Transfer” Conversation far easier. The Age-By-Age Playbook to Financial Literacy maps what to teach at each stage.

The final report

When the money is finally used, for tuition, a first car, or a first apartment, send one last update. It’s the moment every giver has been waiting for, and ideally your child writes it.

Dear Grandma,

I start at [school] next month, and I wanted you to know what your gifts did. Over [number] birthdays, you gave [total], and with growth, those gifts helped pay for [what they paid for]. Every time I think about my first year, I’ll think of you.

Thank you for [number] years of believing in me. I’ll call you from campus.

Love, [Name]

Keep a gift log

Thank-you notes and yearly updates are only as good as your records. A simple spreadsheet or notebook does the job. For each gift, note:

• Who gave, with an address or phone number for the thank-you.
• The date and the occasion.
• The amount and how it arrived, such as by Zelle or Venmo from your child’s savings page, by check, or straight into a 529 plan.
• Where you deposited it, and when.
• When and how you said thank you.
• Any card or note that came with it, saved for your child.

Once a year, add up each giver’s total. That total powers the yearly update, and it helps in two other ways. Anyone who gives your child more than the annual gift tax exclusion in a year, which is $19,000 in 2026 under IRS figures, generally needs to file a gift tax return, as a University of Florida extension guide explains, so a generous giver will appreciate a year-end total. And if relatives give to a Trump Account, individuals and employers share one limit of $5,000 per child per year under IRS guidance, so your log is the easiest way to keep the family under it. The Impact of the 2026 Gift Tax Exclusion and The 530A Trump Account Explained cover the details.

Keep updates private and safe

A yearly update is a financial document, even when it’s mostly photos, so treat it like one:

• Share summaries, not statements. Type the numbers into your update rather than forwarding a statement or screenshot, which can show account numbers, addresses, and other details nobody needs.
• Send numbers one to one. A group email or family chat is great for photos, but each giver’s figures belong in a message to that giver alone.
• Use the channels your family already trusts. If you always text Grandpa, send his update by text, and tell relatives how you’ll always reach them.
• Set one rule for money requests. Tell relatives you’ll never ask them to send money by gift card, wire transfer, or cryptocurrency, and that any request to give will come from you directly. Consider a family code word for anything urgent.

That last rule matters because older relatives are prime targets for fraud. In the FBI’s report on 2025, Americans age 60 and older reported $7.7 billion in losses, about 60% more than in 2024, and the FBI tied $893 million in losses to scams involving artificial intelligence, including cloned voices in “family in distress” calls, AARP reported. A predictable rhythm of updates from you makes an unexpected request easier to spot.

Tricky situations

When relatives give very different amounts

Thank every giver with the same warmth, whatever they gave. A $10 gift from a teenage cousin may be a bigger stretch than $500 from a grandparent. Keep amounts out of group messages, so no one feels ranked, and never use one person’s generosity to nudge another. Building Your Village covers how to welcome every kind of giver.

When a gift is used differently than planned

Sometimes a gift meant for college goes toward swimming lessons or a new bed instead, or a plan changes years later. Whatever the reason, tell the giver. Burk’s research found that donors want confirmation that a gift was used as they intended, and family members feel the same way. A quick note (“we used your gift for her first year of piano lessons, and here’s a video of her recital”) keeps their trust.

When a giver wants no numbers, or every number

Some relatives find money talk uncomfortable, and others love a spreadsheet. Ask once, using the script above, and honor the answer. A grandparent who owns a 529 plan for your child already gets the plan’s statements, so their update can focus on your child rather than the numbers.

Keep copies for your child

Save every note givers send and every update you send back. Years from now, they become a record of the people who believed in your child from the start. If a longtime giver passes away, those pages become part of the story you can share with your child.

How GoodNest fits

GoodNest is built to make this loop easy. You set up a page for your child and share its link with the people you choose. Guests can give without creating an account and leave a note with their gift, which is saved for your child to read years from now. Each gift is written down on the page, with the giver’s name and note, before it’s sent, and you can add gifts that came another way, like a check at the party. Your thank-you list and gift log practically start themselves.

Gifts go straight to you by Zelle, Venmo, or PayPal, and GoodNest never holds or invests the money, so you move each gift into the 529 plan, custodial account, or Trump Account it’s meant for, and record the move on the page. When a gift arrives, the same tap that confirms it opens a thank-you drafted in your child’s voice. It says where the money went and quotes back any note the giver left, ready to copy into a text that day or to rewrite in your own words. For the yearly update, a postcard, a few words and up to four photos, appears only on the page of each person who gave.

The numbers in your update come from your account statements, not from GoodNest. Pair them with a line from the notes your village left, and the update tells the whole story: who gave, where it went, and what it’s becoming.

Mistakes to avoid

• Waiting for the perfect words. Recipients value thanks more than writers expect, so send the short note now.
• Thanking without saying where the money went. “Thank you for your generous gift” tells the giver nothing they don’t already know.
• Leaving an online gift unacknowledged. A gift that arrives through a link needs a reply as much as one that arrives in the mail, if only to confirm it came through.
• Forwarding statements or screenshots. Type the numbers instead.
• Putting everyone’s amounts in one message. Send figures to each giver privately.
• Skipping the update in a bad year. Honest updates in down years make the good years believable.
• Promising future returns. Report what happened, not what will happen.
• Turning the update into an ask. Report first. If someone asks how to give again, answer them separately.

The bottom line

A gift to your child’s savings is an act of faith in a future that’s years away. A prompt thank-you, a note that says where the money went, and a short yearly update let the giver see that future taking shape. Bring your child into the process as they grow, report the bad years along with the good, and keep the numbers private. For how these habits fit into a lifetime of family giving, return to Building Your Village: How to Crowdfund Your Child’s Nest Egg.

Frequently asked questions

Should you mention the amount in a thank-you note for money?

You don’t need to. The giver knows what they gave. Instead, say what the gift is for and where it went, such as “it’s in her 529 plan for college.” Save the numbers for a yearly update, and share them only with givers who want them.

How soon should you send a thank-you note for a college fund gift?

As soon as you can. A quick text or call within a day or two confirms the gift arrived, and a written note can follow within a week or two. If you’re behind, send it anyway: the Emily Post Institute stresses that a late note always beats no note.

Is a text or email thank-you OK for a money gift?

A text or call is a great way to confirm that a gift arrived. For the thank-you itself, the Emily Post Institute considers a handwritten note the best choice for an actual gift, though it’s fine for a teen to thank a relative by email or video chat if that’s how they usually talk.

What should a yearly college fund update for grandparents include?

A recent photo, a line from your child, where the family’s gifts went this year, and, for givers who want numbers, what they’ve given so far and roughly what those gifts are worth today. Keep it to one page, be honest about down years, and leave out account numbers and statements.

How do I calculate what a relative’s gifts are worth now?

Start with last year’s estimate, add the gifts they gave this year, and multiply by one plus the account’s return for the year. Repeat each year. It’s an estimate that assumes every dollar in the account earned the same return, which is close enough for a family update.

Sources

• University of Chicago News, “People underestimate value of sending letters of appreciation”, on Amit Kumar and Nicholas Epley, “Undervaluing Gratitude: Expressers Misunderstand the Consequences of Showing Appreciation,” Psychological Science (2018) (accessed October 2, 2026).
• Lizzie Post, AARP, “I’m Disappointed My Grandchildren Don’t Thank Me for Birthday Gifts” (October 25, 2024).
• The Chronicle of Philanthropy, “Charities’ Treatment of Donors Key to Understanding Why They Stop Giving”, on research by Penelope Burk of Cygnus Applied Research (accessed October 2, 2026).
• Nonprofit Quarterly, “Unraveling Development: Thank Your Donors. And Thank Them Again.”, citing Penelope Burk’s Donor-Centered Fundraising (accessed October 2, 2026).
• The Emily Post Institute, “Complete Guide to Writing Thank You Notes” (accessed October 2, 2026).
• Harvard Graduate School of Education, “How to Raise Grateful Children”, a Harvard EdCast interview with Andrea Hussong (accessed October 2, 2026).
• The Emily Post Institute, “Thank-You Note Tips for Children and Teens”, adapted from Peggy Post and Cindy Post Senning, The Gift of Good Manners (accessed October 2, 2026).
• Aswath Damodaran, NYU Stern School of Business, “Historical Returns on Stocks, Bonds and Bills”, annual S&P 500 returns including dividends, 1928 through 2025 (updated January 5, 2026).
• Internal Revenue Service, “Frequently asked questions on gift taxes” (accessed October 2, 2026).
• University of Florida IFAS Extension, Hillsborough County, “What to Know About Gift Taxes” (April 3, 2026).
• Internal Revenue Service, “Treasury, IRS issue guidance on Trump Accounts established under the Working Families Tax Cuts; notice announces upcoming regulations”, IR-2025-117 (December 2, 2025).
• AARP, “New FBI Report: $20.9 Billion Lost to Internet Crimes in 2025, Older Adults Hit Hardest”, on the FBI’s 2025 Internet Crime Complaint Center report (accessed October 2, 2026).

This article is for general educational purposes only and is not tax, legal, or investment advice. The chart and examples use actual historical S&P 500 returns, including dividends, from Aswath Damodaran’s data, assume each gift was invested at the start of the year with no fees or taxes, and are not predictions or guarantees. Past returns don’t predict future returns. Etiquette customs vary by family and culture, so adapt the wording to the people you’re thanking. Gift tax and Trump Account rules change, so confirm the details with your plan, your account provider, or a qualified professional before acting. Programs and organizations named are examples, not endorsements. GoodNest does not provide tax, legal, or investment advice and does not hold or invest funds.